When is my way of thinking a fantasy. Or is it really? Are there apparent facts for necessary or is it a reminder?It is a silent wish maybe, which slowly but surely more and more to the forefront knows the push?
My desire is increasing. Thereby I become with the quieter day..Why can't I see my world exists and which is still not (back)?
Because of my situation I'm off to my psychologist. A lovely man.
I feel depressed and misunderstood. I am teruggekropen in my world. Another calls it my shell..
I try to explain carefully to the man what happened to me and how I see my world.
My world is bright and glinsterd, radiant with sunlight.The heat tinteld on my skin.
It contains the finest and softest colors that you can think of, all shimmering tinted.
Intense silence captures me..a little bird is singing for me.I feel at home. I feel pretty..
Just pure love and abandon.
Here comes the freedom and happiness come from? No fear or jealousy, but enjoying every moment, from each other..
Men, women, children and animals to, all alive and takes care of each other.
The man gets me with his questions back to reality. What am I doing in this cold environment?
Where is my world go? Where is my bird?
Where are all the colors.? What is that noise?
The man translated My world as a fantasy..An escape route.
But I have to accept that the world in which I live, how it is and that I need to make the best of..
Too bad, he doesn't understand me ... Unfortunately
A nieuwetijdskind, an indigo, a HSP-there..Yes, Yes and Yes.. I recognize myself in everywhere.
My, these terms also from my world or do they exist only here on Earth, because we do not understand?
A dissident..Yes that's me too. These words are an accumulation of one and the same..
I'm different, I feel myself otherwise. And I keep getting more trouble to me, should fit in this society.
Why and for whom? As a kid I was already outside leg. I shut myself off for the other children. I wanted nothing to do with it.
My world was much nicer. What did I do here?
Now years later, I see that there is still not much has changed. I tob still with a dearly desire..back to the silence. Back to the little bird that sings to me.
I still feel misunderstood. Am having trouble to adjust me. My masks have done their work years. In relationships and in my job.
Everyone received my love..hoping..to get back a piece of Love. Love from my world..
I went to realize that few people know that same world. ..incomprehensible. I come from another planet? Another world?
The inhabitants of this planet are hard and feel like ice cold. The love that they appoint is not love..that is fear. With all its consequences.
These residents are scared..afraid of love, afraid of me?
Where these people speak about? About power and money, money is power and vice versa.
Expressing no token of Love or appreciation to each other..but only greed and selfishness in any form. Where is the love gone?
Slowly coming back to reality, I say goodbye to the man and get on my bike. The Sun is shining. It gives me her most beautiful glare on the water.
Gently caresses the wind through my hair and hear..The bird is back!
I look up at the clear blue sky and feel the freedom. What a space, what a size, plenty of energies around me.
I feel secure and understood.
Again I get heated by sunshine and love. I relax and I enjoy. My life is beautiful in this way.Fantasy or not..My world is the best therapy that exists.
Source: Monique / Love-4-life